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| Lowe | Mr Fox |
There once was an emperor of India called Akbar, Akbar the Great. Now one morning Akbar was being attended by his barber Karim. Karim like his master was a Muslim. India was essentially a Hindu country ruled by Muslims. Now Karim was an ambitious man, he didn’t intend to spend the rest of his life as a barber and the only man who stood between him and the achievement of his ambition was Birbal. Now Birbal was Akbar’s Chief Minister, he was a Hindu, a high cast Hindu, a Brahmin. Akbar didn’t trust his own kind, they were too ambitious, he preferred to use the natives.
Casually Karim said, the way barbers do.
I wonder, your Majesty, if you have seen your father recently?
Now the thing about Akbar’s father was that he’d been dead for ten years and anyone who knew this also knew that it would be wise not to mention it.
Karim, you better have a very good reason for mentioning my father or your head will be taken from your shoulders.
No offence, Your Majesty, it’s just that I have heard that Hindus, high cast Hindus, Brahmins, can go to heaven, see your father and then come back and tell you how he is.
And who do we know who can do this?
Well, Your Majesty, there is of course Birbal.
So when Birbal clocks in at the palace he’s immediately summoned to the Royal Presence.
Birbal, I have heard that you as a high cast Hindu, a Brahmin, can go to heaven, see my father, come back again and tell me how he is. I want you to do this.
Well, Your Majesty it can be done but…
No ifs ands or buts, Karim has told me, just do it.
Birbal saw Karim smirking like the proverbial Cheshire Cat and he realised what the game was.
I can do it Your Majesty, it will take time. Priests will have to pray continuously for six months, prayer wheels will have to turn, incense will have to be burnt, it will cost a great deal of money.
Money is of no consideration, just do it.
So it was agreed and Birbal made his plans.
To be fair to Birbal he did engage many priests who prayed continuously. While this was going on Birbal’s servants constructed a secret tunnel from his house to the area outside the city walls where the funeral pyres were held. They built a magnificent funeral pyre with a trap door on the top and a ladder, which lead down to the tunnel. The night before the funeral, Birbal arranged for the logs at the bottom of the pyre to be dowsed in water.
Come the day everyone turned up for Birbal’s funeral pyre. He was very popular, he pursued the well know and effective policy of bread and circuses. He mounted the pyre and at the arranged signal, he lifted his arms, they threw torches setting it alight. There was a great cloud of smoke due to the water on the bottom logs and while the flames soared Birbal lifted the trapdoor, descended the ladder, went along the tunnel safely back to his house. The pyre burned down and everyone, very sadly, went home. Even Karim and his friends had to admit that Birbal had taken it very well.
Birbal now carried out the second part of his plan he remained in his house for six months, like before the servants were sworn to secrecy, they were well bribed with Akbar’s gold. Birbal for six months had nothing to do except eat and he allowed his hair and beard to grow long.
Eventually the six months passed and Birbal left his house and made his way to the Royal Palace. At first the guards didn’t recognise him but a few bags of gold revived their memory and he was admitted to the Royal Presence.
Birbal you have returned from Heaven but I am forgetting my manners please eat whatever food you wish, you must be hungry after your long journey.
I’m sorry Your Majesty but after Heaven this earthly food tastes like ashes.
Akbar could contain his curiosity no longer.
Tell me Birbal, how was my father?
Your Majesty’s father was as you remember him. Dressed in his magnificent gold robe with his silver turban and his wonderful diadem glittering with fire.
And did you speak to him Birbal?
Yes, he was very happy only there was one problem and he wondered if you could help.
What was the problem Birbal?
His hair Your Majesty. His Hair. It was so long. You may have noticed how long my own hair is. They have no barbers in Heaven and he wondered if you could possibly send up Karim?
Now Karim was listening behind a screen and he realised that the game was up. He fled from the kingdom never to be seen again.
Birbal was restored to his position as Chief Minister and there was great rejoicing among the people for Birbal was both wise and generous.