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| Lowe | Mr Fox |
There once was an old couple and they lived in Oscott in Birmingham. Now one evening they went to their local The Deer’s Leap where they were to play on the crown green as part of the Darby and Joan Bowling League. Now when the game was over they all went into the pub and she started to play on the old piano and everyone sang the old songs. When the evening was over they said goodnight to all of their friends and the landlord and they made their way home. They had a bite to eat and then they went to bed.
Well they were just lying there in bed and he said:
You know I was just thinking that we’ve been married now for twenty five years and I thought we ought to have a bit of a celebration to mark the occasion. We could book the function room at The Deer’s Leap. We could invite all of our friends and relatives, at least the ones we’re still talking to. We could have a band, plenty to eat and drink. Now what do you say?
It’s funny you should say that but I was thinking along exactly the same lines myself.
So the next day he goes out and he does the business and come the night everyone has a great time. And as is the way with these things gradually everyone drifts off home leaving only this old couple. Well they douted the light and they said goodnight to the landlord then they made their way home.
Well they went to bed and they were as happy and contented as they had been on the very first night that they’d been wed and then she said to him:
You know Eric, because that’s what she called him when she wanted something, all the years that we’ve been wed and you’ve never shown me what you keep in that old black box of yours, the one you keep under the bed. Now don’t you think after all the years we’ve been wed you ought to open that box and show me what you’ve got inside of it?
Oh, I don’t know about that, you see if I was to open that box I feel almost certain that you wouldn’t be pleased with what you would see.
There should be no secrets between a husband and a wife especially after all the years that we’ve been wed, you should open that box and show me what you’ve got inside it.
Oh, I don’t know about that, you see if I was to open that box I feel almost certain that you’d be really annoyed with what you’d see and the last thing I want to do is to annoy you especially on our wedding anniversary.
There’s nothing you can say or do after all the years that we’ve been wed that’s going to annoy me, you should open that box and show me what you’ve got inside it.
I tell you what Muriel, because that what he called her when he wanted to placate her, if we’re still happily married after fifty years then I’ll open that box and show you what I’ve got inside it.
Well Muriel accepted this because she was a reasonable woman, and if there were more women like Muriel then the world would be a much better place, especially for men.
Well time passes as it does and one night this old couple make their way to The Dear’s Leap where they’re to play in the Darby and Joan Domino League. Now when the game’s over Muriel strikes up on the old piano and everyone sings the old songs. When the evening’s over they say goodnight to all their friends and the landlord and they made their way home. They had a bite to eat and then they went to bed.
Well they were just lying in bed when he said:
You know Muriel I was just thinking that we’ve been married now for fifty years and I thought we ought to have a bit of a celebration to mark the occasion. We could book the function room at The Deer’s Leap. We could invite all of our friends and relatives and even some of those storytellers for they’re not too bad really. We could have a band, plenty to eat and drink. Now what do you say?
It’s funny you should say that but I was thinking along exactly the same lines myself.
So the next day Eric goes out and he does the business and come the night everyone has a great time. And as is the way with these things gradually everyone drifts off home till there’s only this old couple left. Well they douted the light and they said goodnight to the landlord then they made their way home.
Well they went to bed and they were as happy and contented as they had been on the very first night that they’d been wed and then she said to him:
Eric do you remember the promise that you made to me on our twenty fifth wedding anniversary that if we were still happily married after fifty years why you’d open that old black box of yours, the one you keep under the bed and show me what you keep inside of it, now don’t you think after all these years you ought to open that box and show me what you’ve got inside of it?
Well Muriel to tell you the truth I can’t say that I rightly remember making that promise.
You made that promise Eric and a promise made is a debt unpaid. You should open that box and show me what you’ve got inside it.
Oh, I don’t know about that, you see if I was to open that box I feel almost certain that you wouldn’t be pleased with what you would see.
There should be no secrets between a husband and a wife especially after all the years that we’ve been wed, you should open that box and show me what you’ve got inside it.
Oh, I don’t know about that, you see if I was to open that box I feel almost certain that you’d be really annoyed and I don’t want to annoy you especially on our wedding anniversary.
Look Eric there’s nothing you can say or do after all the years that we’ve been wed that’s going to annoy me, excepting if you don’t open that box.
Well he agreed, he didn’t have much option really. He got out of bed and he went over to where his old donkey jacket was hanging on the back of the door. He reached into his jacket pocket and he fished out his bunch of keys and then he went over to the side of the bed and he kneeled down and he dragged the old gun metal back box out from under the bed. Meanwhile Muriel had swung her legs off the bed onto the floor and she was staring at the lid of the box the way women do when they’re really interested in something. Eric put the key in the lock and ever so irritatingly slowly he turned the key. The lid flew open.
Whoo! What a lot of money.
Inside the box were two hundred pounds in ten shilling and one pound notes and there were also three eggcups. He picked one of them up, it was made of porcelain with a slender base.
What are those eggcups doing in the box?
If I tell you about the eggcups do you promise that you won’t be annoyed?
I won’t be annoyed Eric, I’m just curious.
Well in a long and happy marriage like ours, we’ve managed to bring up two children and they’re both done well, we’ve had our ups and our downs, our good times and our bad times…
Look Eric just cut the crap and tell me about the eggcups.
Well in a long marriage like ours I have to confess that there have been times when I’ve been unfaithful and when that happened I took one of these eggcups and I painted a bluebird on it and then I put it in the box.
Well three times in fifty years, I’m not saying I approve mind you but it could have been a lot worse. But tell me Eric where did the money come from,
Well it’s like this Muriel every time I got half a dozen eggcups I took them down the market and I sold them!